Lan Mandragoran
Aragorn aka Strider
Gandalf
Sirius
Rand Al'thor

These are my favourite fantasy characters ... id never thought about it ... but other htan these there arent many characters im really attracted towards or interested in .. nd deeper introspection reveals something tht i am not in the least surprised by ... theyre all the same ... all similar characters with similar traits and shades of grey ....

all powerfull characters who seek to hide their powers ... live on their own .... lead a pack but work on their own .... take the plunge themselves..... all shades of grey ... all ppl who want to save those around them and who live in chaos and destruction ... all known by many names who their true slef behind cloaks and masks of thr face and the mind ....

to be continued later .....

How do you tell someone you love them ... without scarin the wits out of them ... without prejudicing them .. or without them packing their bags and scramming ....

you jsut want to tell them you lvoe them .. you care for them and no mater hwo hard it is for them to imagine it but you dont expect them to be in love with you ...

its not an act of selfless love .. its an acceptance of reality that ultiamtely every lover ends up facing ... you jsut happen to face it before you professed it ....

hwo do yo utell someone that the oly purpose your love serves is its existencec ... you love for the sake of loving ..for the sake of caring .. for the sake of being in love ....

its going to make me sad .. mad but its part of me ... if you love a person doesnt mean you destroy their life or yours .... cry for them to be with you .... lifes too short to waste like this ... wouldnt it be more fun and better seved if you lived out your love .. professed it ... cared for them ... lived with them ... felt the hurt when u think of them being with someone else ... but still .. you remain happy and see them being happy ..................................................... while being with them all this while

I knwo its tough .... but then all good things have to be earned .......

Im sitting at my station chatting with a cute lil girl, reading a BB King Interview in the latest Rolling Stone, listening to Gary Moore’s solo’s croon in the background and occasionally picking up my own to see if I can even play two notes together. Lifes good. Its slightly chilly but I like it that way. 
Then I get to know that somethings gonee wrong and I think she might be sad.
It surprising how when someone else goes through some problem it can hurt you like you’ve just jumped off a cliff.
Is this what being human is all about…
Its so strange I cant figure out in absolute terms how can we feel so for another person… Everyone knows we can go through that … but it just doesn’t make any sense…

ok... I'm frustrated ... plain simple frustrated..
i wanna curse .. shout scream .. nehitng to get rid of this frustration ..

and the reasons quite simple .....

my lifes not as adventurous or ... out of context as id hoped it would be ... am i getting odl already .... NO nO NO NON
i wanna die young man ...(well not really)


my anger roots in the hopelessness of the situation i find myself in ... its like im letting mysurroundings bog me down ....
i didnt intern coz i wanted to enjoy .. n i still like the idea ... im glad i took that decision ...BUT

big BUT

i didnt go on a single trip the whole two months .......(you cant count indore as a trip..its next doors)
i didnt record a single song ... i didnt write a single chapter .. or even one usefull story ...
dint read anything pathbreaking ......and very soon college starts ....

and the outlet for this frustration is thanks ot me checking out vaibhav bhai's album ..so many pics of places theyve been to .. nd i felt so jealous ...him .. namchor n mudit bhaiya ....i feel jealous ...

i wann go those palces .. do things like them .. be stupid n fun .... but i have no one to do them with ... NO ONE!!!!!

its no fun going alone .... i will do that one day .... but when i ahve no other option ....

maybe i dont have any right now ...

so i have no one to go to even pachmadi with ...forget goa or shimla or nehting really worthwhile ... nishants going to port blair with his friends ... PORT BLAIR ./.... we havent bee ntehre in over a decade ....

the people im with at coll ... forget them ... if i can get more than one of them to go to indore its an achievement ... only shubhams good enough for soemhting liek that .... no one else ...

school pals cant make it to bhopal at the same time coz of coll breaks timings ....amol was here in april may ..i was free in may june ... yudhan has end june and VK only for july and PG is coming in august .... wtf

its enough to make me scream ... nd th eagles are singing in the background ... GET OVER IT ... ALL THE BITCHING MOANING AND FITS .... GET OVER IT ...  GET OVER IT ... GET OVER IT (goood solo) ... .get over it ........................................................... (get over it) .....

I once wanted to be a journalist. Looking at the papers i get in my household, Dainik Bhaskar and The Times of India i sometimes wonder where this distant dream had started off. Certainly not from these newspapers. Certainly not from stuff like HT, the Pioneer or Nav Bharat either, other newspapers i grew up with in other cities.
Then where could the seed have been sown. And i found the asnwer of the root of my once strong desire in the very roots of journalism. The Idea or concept of journalism. The idea of investigating, reporting and criticising. Today journalism has creeped down from the idea of journalism that i loved to the abhorrent act of news reporting. There is no critical view point now. Mind you that doesnt mean a lack of criticism. We are in an age of criticism. We will criticise Aishwarya Rai for wearing shades that cost 10 lakh in a film and we will all cheer as a steroid overdosed giant comes over to his homeland for playing a role in a fake wrestling industry and now wishes to 'act' in a film.
How, i ask you, will The Great Khali deliver his dialogues when he cant talk otehr than babble like a baby. Oh ya,, we have dubbingg now. So we're assured he cant act, his dialogues will be dubbed,,,, then whats he doing there. ACTION ofcourse.
And not to mention we dont lack an audience that can become appreciative of almost anythign if its advertised long enough and hypocritically enough.

Oh, how did i end up on Khali from Journalism. Maybe coz i was thinkign about INDIA TV's non stop coverage of his antics in the world wrestling sphere....

As i was saying, journalism in india doesnt seem to be quite the act its suppoosed to be. Specially when video journalism is the rage and the standard of the newscasters and the stuff their producers tell them to sell us is so 'high'.

Bleh! I cant write anymore,,, not from laziness but well just thinking about how futile the whole thing really looks to me. wtf is my view gonna do.
Best i Lay it all to rest and go see what new revelations these information moguls have for us.

Romance and more...

Romance is such an endearing notion. The belief that an idea, a person, a thought, a moment can mean so much to a person sounds preposterous at times but it is a part of being a romantic. I’ve known for ages that im a romantic but I don’t think id be able to describe what romance is or who a romantic is if youd have asked me.
I’d like to think about it now.

Maybe romance is a notion of obsession. To be obsessed with something till your heart cannot push it out. To feel the thing throb with every beat of your heart. Maybe romance is the notion of a utopian dream. Maybe it’s the belief in things at their best or better.

Maybe it’s a dream we all would love to dream but only those who are do.

But most of all, I believe, romance is the concept of beauty.
To believe in it. To want it. To appreciate it. To desire it and to cherish it.

Maybe romance is also the desire to be in love, always.
To feel it, even if we cant have it.
___________
A loner isn’t always sad. A sad man isn’t always a loner.
One who has everything need not have nothing.

When your talking to yourself,
and nobodies home.
Lookout for yourself
you cant end this world alone,

Gun's 'N Roses - ESTRANGED

It's 5 in the morning and i was flying through the city streets without a care. I'd been out on some errand and now that it was done i was just driving along without a care, testing the speed limits of my bike.
It's a liberating feeling, to drive as fast as you can, feeling the chilly wind through your hair as your body tries its best to ignore the sensation of going feotal.
At some point of time i ended up on the same road i had been crossing for years now, campion road. And situated on this road is the one and only temple i any longer go to. I have a strange relationship with this place. I only ever go there when the desire suddenly springs up in my heart and only ever pray for others, the gods seem to be prejudiced against granting me anything i want for myself but i guess the dudes are kind enough to give me a lot in life anyway.
As i slowed down and came to an absolute stop near the temple i happenned to notice the beautifull moon shining up in the sky so early in the morning. My mind seeemed to jump back into the distant oblivion im so much more accustomed to than here and now.
I went in, prayed. Theres a strict regiment that i follow when i pray which somehow makes me understnad why people wanted to have all these rites and customs attached to this simple-turned-complex art of praying. having a common system of praying sort of makes us believe theres a higher chance of our prayer gettign answered than maybe if we jsut opned ourselves up to those we pray to.
As my small ritual came to an end and i was about to leave i noticed one single solitary begger lady sitting nearby. Usually very apathetic to the conditions of these fellow earth dwellers, somehow today i felt different. I got off my bike and headed for where she was sitting. She seemed to be shivering, trying to cover herself with her shalws and protect herself form the wind. I wondered what she was doing here. beggers are a common phenomenon at temples but not so early in the morning surely. hardly anyone was up and about at this time in the morning when even the sun hasnt seen the light of day. Was she here early to collect money before all the others came or was she here to pray. Maybe this was where she had slept, having nowhere to go.
With these strange thoguths in mind i headed over to her and sat down next to her in the stone cold road. She turned towards me and gave me a puzzled look I was expecting. I handed her a ten rupee note i found in my wallet and touched her legs. She seemed to take the note subconsciously and kept her attention focused at me, which was somehow very pleasing. It was at this moment of time that is uddenly noticed hwo similar her face was to the mother of one of my friends.
I asked her what her name was and she replied in a slightly hoarse voice, "Parvati". And is if those were magic words she then started smiling at me, a smile i shall remember for quite a while. I would like believe that she was happy simply because someone had taken the time out to sit and talk to her, ask her how and who she was, rather than smile because of the money. Somehow my heart can never believe the latter, maybe its because apart from everything i still want to believe that humanity is still above everything else. I sat and chatted with her for a while. Asked her to pray that my prayers be answered that the person whom i prayed for recover very soon.
She suddenly went of into a small blessing that were all so accustomed to hear from any such person after we give them any money, but again her eyes did not have the fake pretence that usually accompanies these. She was genuinely hoping that whatever she was saying would happen.
i got up and left for my home then and suddenly, as i switched on my ipod and heard dear old Axl singing November Rain, i was overcome with emotion. And right now ist and wonder, could this be for real. Do i really like someone that much. What i do know for sure is, I hope to see her happy, always.
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Its now 6 o clock on this very same morning as i finish this small memory. In the end i jsut want to look up at the moon and wish that in the coming future i shall look at it again, not alone with 'her' by my side.

randomize - lms\pl\ntnki\anty

In memoriam

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This ones tributed to P.L. ..... hope i never have to pay the worse price for trusting you .... keep smiling :)

Well....
I had thought id start this blog and show the NETIZENS amongst my friends the more visible ME..but i guess my lazy nature got the better of that....

OK so ihavea friend...ashish...who is more lovingly called KEEDA..
so well i promised keeda one day that id publish my theory of sexual orientation on the blog someday and well

i guess this is it


welcoem to the world of the hteory of the effects of 

GAYS, LESBIANS AND BISEXUALS!!!!!


ok so this is how it works

HYPOTHESSIS - the increasiing number of gay men,,lesbians and bisexuals will adversely affect the number of available "spouse material or partners"(i refrain from using much juicier words as i know for a fact that some kids have ended up on this blog while searching for the terms - piss turd n vomit)


so well
the first item on the menu is
Gay men - ok this is simple for us Guys.....the more gay men there are..the better

each gay man himself is one less person in the competition for our race to find a suitable female(and by suitable i mean ANYONE who is ready to allow us to foot her bills and still call us the next day) plus every gay man stands the chance of taking away another competitor BI-sexual or a gay who is still in the closet or any gay man whom any girl u like might like instead...
so basically...the competition gets reduced.......
not to mention the fact that gay men are on most occassions the best dressed and most suitable ...well mannered guys you could find..
so basically by taking them out of the race your bringing the competition bar down and closer to your level...which improves our chances again....YIPPEEE!!!


so after gay men we have gay women...lesbians...

ok this si tricky..coz situations may vary from goood to bad...
good case - some really good girls who were way out of your league turn lesbian.....welll you technically havent lost anything at all.... but then the straight guys who are a step above you will get the girls who come second after the first level lesbians...so you loose out on "possibilities"...sucks man..
but hten...on the brighter side...Which straight guy doesnt just love lesbians....hehe..naughty naughty..(OK..im a bad guy....im a guy..atleast im being honest about what msot of us think..or atlest would if we had the mental faculties for it...)

lastly we have the ever so dangerous territor of the bisexuals..........ummmm...
moving beyondth earlier referenceto them..
bisexual men are good...the lie somewhere between the range of danger posed by MEN and the competitive gold pot that gay men are....since a bi man may go for a guy anyday over a girl...you competition get easier by a small margin..you stand a slightly enhanced position.....
bisexual women on the other hand....thats waters im just not ready to tread............its just TOOO GOOOD!


anyway...now that ive written the first of a series of articles that are bound t o get me new taglines such as a PIG... DIRTY LITTLE WEEVIL...DIRY BIG WEEVIL...SOB and so on..i think its time for me to go back and listen to Freddie Merc...